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This Just In!!!



This news just in out of Minnesota. A local resident by the name of Dan Angle has found this wonderful and awesome specimen: Atheist Toast. As you can see in the picture, the toast doesn’t have a single design in it. In fact, there’s nothing in the toast except toast.

The finder of this exquisite article is twenty-eight year-old Dan Angle of Linden Hills Minneapolis. A computer programmer by day and grocery bagger by night, Dan was shocked to find his breakfast come out in such a unique and bold design.

“I was just making a little breakfast in the morning, like I always do, and as the toast popped up from the toaster, this is what I found. I couldn’t believe it at first, but as time went on, I realized that there was most certainly nothing in my toast. It was, as I put it, just toast and nothing else.”


In a closeup photo of the toast, one can surely not make out any shading that resembles the Virgin Mary. There is no design resembling a man with a beard or even Elton John. It is truly just simply toast, and nothing more.

Dan declined to comment further, however, has apparently prepared a statement for a press conference that he has called for next Tuesday evening. But he has decided that he will place the toast in a sandwich bag where it will expire or thrive depending on fate. He will certainly not be selling this item on eBay, because of its cultural significance.

We’ll have more on this story at eleven!

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